Hey there, dream-chaser! If you're a perfectionist woman constantly striving for weight loss and experiencing shame for eating in secret, this article is here to shed some light on the hidden world of binge eating. We'll dig deep into the causes behind secret eating and equip you with practical tips to help you bid farewell to this habit once and for all.

Secret eating is more common than you might think; a survey of 2000 women found that 6 in 10 engaged in secret eating and a quarter hid the evidence.

Secret eating is a form of disordered eating where someone will deliberately hide what they are eating and how much they are eating, from others. Secret eating is typically associated with feelings of shame, guilt, and a lack of control around food. It often goes hand in hand with emotional eating, where individuals turn to food as a way to cope with and soothe negative emotions. Secret eating can become a habitual behaviour and develop into a problematic pattern, leading to weight gain, difficulty managing a healthy diet, and emotional distress.

Surprisingly, research indicates that a significant number of children, around 27.2%, engage in secretive behaviours related to food, such as sneaking, hiding, or hoarding it. Moreover, studies have revealed that this percentage may increase to as high as 34% among adolescents.

Furthermore, when examining adults diagnosed with binge eating disorder, an astonishing 54% admitted to engaging in secretive eating practices distinct from their binge eating behavior. This highlights the prevalence and persistence of secretive eating habits throughout various stages of life.

Common causes of secret eating

1. to regain a sense of control

   Picture this: you've had a long, stressful day, and the allure of secret eating beckons. It becomes a way to temporarily find solace and regain a sense of control amidst emotional turmoil. As an ambitious woman with high expectations, secret eating often becomes a discreet companion that offers a brief escape from the pressures of life. It might feel like that ONE thing that is just for you.

2. Emotional Triggers

   A 2012 study found that most people who engage in secret eating had used it as an emotional outlet. Building emotional resilience hold the key to understanding secret eating. Stress, anxiety, loneliness, or even sheer boredom can trigger the urge to indulge in secret eating. Identifying these emotional triggers allows you to uncover the hidden patterns, empowering you to find healthier outlets for your emotions.

3. The Perfectionist's Dilemma

   Seeking Comfort in Secrecy Ah, the ever-elusive pursuit of perfection. For many, secret eating becomes an accomplice to the perfectionist mindset. The constant pursuit of flawlessness, combined with the fear of failure, can lead to turning to food as a source of comfort. It's time to discover alternative ways to nurture yourself without relying on secret snacking. Research shows that fear of judgement has been associated with secret eating as a way to avoid criticism from others. Naturally, diet culture is very toxic and can lend to feelings of isolation and low sense of self-worth.

4. the Diet Rollercoaster

   If you've been on and off diets for as long as you can remember, you're not alone. Strict and unrealistic diets can actually contribute to secret eating. The feelings of deprivation and restriction often backfire, triggering a cycle of binge eating and secret indulgence. It's time to break free from this vicious cycle and adopt a more sustainable approach.

Practical Tips to Overcome Secret Eating

a) Shed Light on your Triggers & Practice self-compassion

Take a moment to shine a light on the emotional triggers that lead to secret eating. Keep a journal and jot down your thoughts and emotions before, during, and after these episodes. By gaining insight into the underlying patterns, you'll be better equipped to address them head-on. Be gentle with yourself, if you’re a perfectionist the odds are you’re really hard on yourself and it’s important to treat yourself like you would a dear friend! You have only been doing the best you can with what you’ve had at the time!

b) Seek Support

Remember, you don't have to go through this journey alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or seek professional guidance. Sharing your struggles and seeking support can provide you with the tools and encouragement you need to overcome secret eating.

c) explore alternative Coping Mechanisms

It's time to discover healthier ways to cope with stress and emotions. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you unwind. Whether it's taking a walk in nature, practicing yoga, or exploring creative outlets, finding alternative coping mechanisms will gradually replace secret eating as your go-to solution. This might be an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone and create new habits, find community and feel more connected in your life. Consider something you’ve always wanted to do and try it! You have nothing to lose.

d) Practice Mindful Eating & eat adequately

Practice the art of mindful eating to regain control over your relationship with food throughout the day. It’s important to make sure you are in fact eating enough earlier on in the day and throughout, as the number one predictor of binge eating is restriction. Slow down, savor each bite, and pay attention to your body's hunger and fullness signals. By eating mindfully and being present in the moment, you'll cultivate a healthier approach to nourishing yourself.

e) Embrace a Balanced Lifestyle

Shift your focus from rigid diets to a balanced and sustainable lifestyle. Incorporate nutritious meals, regular physical activity, and self-care practices into your routine. Embracing a holistic approach to your well-being will help you break free from the cycle of secret eating while supporting your health goals.

You're now armed with insights into the world of secret eating and practical strategies to overcome it. By understanding the underlying causes, seeking support, and adopting healthier coping mechanisms, you'll gradually break free from this habit. Remember, food and body healing journey is about more than just numbers on a scale. It's about embracing a balanced lifestyle, nurturing your well-being, and finding the joy in the process.

You've got this, and with determination and perseverance, you'll conquer secret eating and achieve the healthier, happier life you deserve.

References

1. Abrahams A. Controlled eating by day, binging by night: the secret chaos of my food disorder [Internet]. Red Online. 2017 [cited 20 October 2021]. Available from: https://www.redonline.co.uk/health-self/a530750/secret-eating-food-disorder/

2. Kass A, Wilfley D, Eddy K, Boutelle K, Zucker N, Peterson C et al. Secretive eating among youth with overweight or obesity. Appetite. 2017;114:275-281.

3. Lydecker J, Grilo C. I didn’t want them to see: Secretive eating among adults with binge-eating disorder. International Journal of Eating Disorders. 2019;52(2):153-158.

4. Hernandez-Hons A, Woolley S. Women’s Experiences with Emotional Eating and Related Attachment and Sociocultural Processes. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. 2011;38(4):589-603.